April Tom Foolery Roundup

OK, so there were some pretty good wine-related April Fool’s jokes on the Internet this Sunday.

Jeff Siegel linked to his favorite April Fool’s post, about California seceding from the United States as a wine nation. Then he followed up with a post about what he would do if he had purchased a winning ticket in the $640M Mega Millions lottery jackpot – including “Move to Burgundy, but still drink Texas wine. Imagine all the people I would annoy by doing that.”

Trefethen Family Vineyards – those jolly jokers – announced a bottle specially designed for left-handed drinkers.

Michelle Armour, founder of J.A.M. Public Relations, sent out a hyperbolic press release about how her client, Steve Beckman of Beckman Vineyards in Santa Barbara County, was a “direct descendant of Dionysus” who “invented grenache.” The release is not online as far as I can tell, but highlights include this send-off of winery PR press releases:

Steve, Moses and Rudolph Steiner personally planted
Beckmen’s acclaimed, biodynamic-certified Purisima Mountain Vineyard, which is widely recognized as the greatest vineyard ever planted by the hands of man, prophet and Austrian anthroposophist….

… when Moses came down from Purisima
Mountain, he handed Steve the Ten Commandments of winemaking. Steiner gave Steve a cow horn. As a result, a library vintage of the Beckmen Vineyards Purisima Red was the only California Rhône blend ever to receive a better-than-perfect 101-point score from Wine Spectator. On many occasions, both Robert Parker and Jim Laube have wept openly with joy upon
tasting Steve’s wines, and a massive stash of empty Beckmen bottles and labels was reported to have been found at Kurniwan’s house.

And just to show that Michelle has her own profession in perspective, the release includes fake “boilerplate” language that spoofs wine PR in a big way:

J.A.M. PR has earned a reputation as the best PR agency in the world. It is the only PR firm ever to have received a Pulitzer for a press release, an honor it has achieved on four occasions. J.A.M. PR was the first agency to use the words
“artisan,” “handcrafted, “world-class,” “benchmark,” sustainable” and “balanced” in its client messaging (all in one sentence). More impressively, it was also the first agency to stop using all of these same words. J.A.M.’s roster of clients is so impressive, journalists arrange junkets to wine and dine the J.A.M. team. Sometimes wine journalists just call J.A.M. because they miss us, or they are feeling a little blue. . . . J.A.M. did not invent wine PR. That was Mondavi. J.A.M. did however invent messaging.

Finally, David White at Terroirist filed this April Fool’s post, in which he turned the wine world – or at least the wine writing world – upside down, with Wine Enthusiast’s Steve Heimoff forsaking print for social media. Then today, Dave tweeted this:

To which I replied: “So do the croissants!”

Did you see any good wine-related April Fools hijinx? Tell us about it in the comments.

About Dave McIntyre

Wine columnist for The Washington Post, co-founder of DrinkLocalWine.com, and blogger at Dave McIntyre's WineLine (dmwineline.com).
This entry was posted in Wine, Wine Humor and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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